If parents had an official job description, patience would probably be at the top of it. It is hard enough being patient ourselves, let alone teaching it to our children. Here are seven ideas we hope you find useful.
1. Don't give in to unreasonable demands
When your child asks for yet another hour on a device, a sweet snack before dinner, or TV instead of doing a chore, resist the urge to say yes. It is hard when you are tired after a long day at work, but every time you delay their gratification, you are teaching patience.
2. Not even for a tantrum
Never give your child what they want just because they throw a tantrum. Help them calm down first, or you will be reinforcing exactly the behaviour you want to change.
3. Point out patience
Take every opportunity to show your child the results of their patience, or their lack of it, reflecting it back without judgement. “You waited patiently for your turn, and now you're playing so happily!”
4. Don't let them interrupt
Unless it is an emergency, children should not be allowed to interrupt us mid-sentence. Calmly saying “I'm talking to your uncle right now. I'll be with you when we've finished” teaches patience and respect at the same time.
5. Practise patience through play
Games where everyone has to wait their turn are a wonderful way to build patience.
6. Take it slow
Instead of dashing to help the moment your child asks for something, take your time. If you are in the middle of something, finish it first. Avoid instant gratification.
7. Remember that you are the example
If you get stressed or lose your temper every time life gets hard, you can be sure your child will soon start doing the same. But if they see you waiting patiently for something you really want, they are far more likely to copy that instead.
Our consultants train teachers in classroom management, mindfulness and values-based education, where patience is a daily lesson. Find out more about our professional development.
